Father news

Win an iPod Shuffle thanks to a mom!

2009-09-11T04:08:00.000-07:00

This blog is "Father news", but today I'll like to talk you about a "Mother news" blog-like:

Dagmar's momsense

Opinionated, green, frugal, breastfeeding mom of a toddler shares her sensible thoughts. Making sense of motherhood!

So, I suggest you read this blog, which is really awesome.

And you can also win an iPod shuffle with a new contest!

Go here

Beautiful wife saves me again

2009-09-11T04:06:00.000-07:00

Julia graciously offered to host my blog post today by disclosing tons of really personal information about me. Naturally, I thought it was a great idea. My job search is still grinding on (I received a call from a recruiter today looking for someone with experience in something I hadn’t even heard of). I’m meeting with our clothing wholesaler on Thursday as we prepare for Flea Market Madness. I finished my first University of Phoenix class last night, and today I start my second on Technical Writing. I believe it will teach me how many electrons make up the dot of an ‘i’. I hope.

My husband

1. He’s sitting in front of the TV, what is on the screen?
Scifi Channel

2. You’re out to eat; what kind of dressing does he get on his salad?
Blue Cheese

4. You go out to eat and have a drink, what does he order?
Diet coke

5. Where did he go to high school?
Spokane, WA

6. What size shoe does he wear?
11

7. If he was to collect anything, what would it be?
Star Trek Stuff

8. What is his favorite type of sandwich?
Cheese Bagel, cooked ham and Gouda

9. What would this person eat every day if he could?
M&M’s

10. What is his favorite cereal?
Lucky charms, but I don’t think he has had that in a looong time

11. What would he never wear?
long hair

12. What is his favorite sports team?
He doesn’t watch sports

13. Who did he vote for?
Obama

14. Who is his best friend?
I am

15. What is something you do that he wishes you wouldn’t do?
Nothing, at least that what he keeps saying, I am sure there is something though

16. What is his heritage?
French

17. You bake him a cake for his birthday:
German Cheesecake

18. Did he play sports in high school?
nope, he was a band geek

19. What could he spend hours doing?
sitting in front of the computer, blogging, playing WoW, any other RPGs

20. What is one unique talent he has?
Being funny, he can make a joke out of almost anything!

Top 10 cheezy pick-up lines to use on your partner

2009-09-11T04:05:00.001-07:00

OK, so the baby pooped so much in her car seat that it literally went up to her neck; the only solution was to put her, clothes and all, into the bathtub and hope for the best. Your significant other just sat in traffic with crying kids on the interstate for two hours. Dinner consisted of chicken nuggets, limp fries, and flat soda. You’re both tired. Cranky. Exhausted.

But, you’re a GUY, right? In addition to being a Dad. You have NEEDS. Somehow you have to rise above it all, and in addition, get your partner in the mood for at least a tepid liaison. It sounds impossible. Most days, it is impossible. These lines aren’t guaranteed to help.

10. ” I WANT to want to do the dishes.”

9. “Have you lost weight?”

8. [Look at her for a moment] “Sometimes I forget how beautiful you are.”

7. “I want to get luckier tonight. Because I’m already lucky being with you.”

6. “Is it hot in here? No? Oh, I thought it felt a little hot.”

5. “You make [whatever your partner is doing at the moment] look goooooood.”

4. [Hold your breath, then let it out in a gasp] “I looked into your eyes and forgot to breathe.”

3. “I love you.”

2. “The way you look right now reminds me of our first time together.”

1. [Close the curtains/blinds/blast doors] “I don’t want anyone else seeing how HOT you look right now.”

Childbirth class

2009-09-11T04:02:00.000-07:00

Here’s a shout out to all the soon-to-be Dads out there who might stumble upon my blog someday. No doubt you’re nervous and excited: Junior’s on the way! You and your partner may have had your first ultrasound, prenatal care is underway, your understanding of sex (and the physics of it) are changing daily, and you’re signed up for childbirth class.

You have to go.

Start negotiating NOW with your wife about getting an epidural and pain medication during labor. She wants them. She will scream for them. She will beg you with those beautiful blue/brown/hazel/black (but ultimately Hell-red) eyes for ANYTHING that will stop the mind-searing pain. You want them too. You don’t want to stand there, in that room, practicing the pathetic ‘techniques’ they give you in these ‘classes.’

‘C’mon honey, breath! Hee hee hooooo! Hee hee hoooooo!’

‘It hurts!’

‘Just focus on the spot on the wall like the instructor said. Breath, breath…’

‘I WILL KILL YOU. I WILL LAY WASTE TO YOUR FAMILY.’

‘Um, here comes another contraction. Try to loosen your grip on my testicles…’

Yeah. They say that when the baby comes, the beautiful, glowing mother forgets the pain in an instant and it’s replaced by love for the baby. I think that’s true. What they don’t say is that YOU will never forget. Ever. You can’t go through watching that kind of pain, knowing that you have caused it to some degree, and then forget when your beautiful baby pops out of the oven. It’s not a learning kind of pain. It doesn’t bring you closer to your partner. It haunts you, unmans you in ways you would never consider, and it makes you LESS than you were before. Why? Because the agony of childbirth is pointless. There is a cure.

I’ve done it both ways. My ex-wife insisted on ‘going natural.’ It was excruciating. She wasn’t allergic to the pain medications. She didn’t have any particular aversion to the epidural. She just wanted to do it naturally. I never understood why. I also never forgot the night our son was born, watching the contractions on the monitor and seeing her at the very limit of her endurance to the pain, crying out half in fear, half in horror, as the graph spiked impossibly HIGHER than she could tolerate.

My beautiful wife went for the drugs. She reasoned that there’s no medal that’s given out for pain endurance, no satisfaction to be won for inflicting others with her agony (namely me), and no benefit to be gained by holding the guilt of her pain over her child’s head later. She went straight for the drugs. When it was time, she had her epidural. Both of our girls were born with a minimum of pain during labor for both us. It was like night and day for me, the bad way and the right way.

Both times I went through childbirth class, we had instructors that preached ‘natural’ childbirth. If you have the option, try to find an instructor that is versed in natural birth and epidurals. If your partner is on the fence about it, start convincing her that she wants an epidural, and start planning on it with her. She’ll want one in the delivery room, but you need to get it on your parenting plan so that everyone knows. There ARE some risks that are documented exhaustively and your doctor can explain everything. But it’s so worth it.

When my wife and I went through childbirth class, the instructor was against pain medication of any kind. She explained that the satisfaction of knowing that she had given birth naturally was the reward for enduring the pain. It turned out later that she had never actually given birth naturally - both of her birth experiences ended in Cesareans. So, take what your instructor is saying with a grain of salt. I don’t know what the ‘no drug’ agenda is (surely it’s not coming from the pharmaceutical companies), but it is very common.